I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why do cheetos always look like penises
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
