Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My cat gives me a boner
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
