So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
