haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
