My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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