were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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