i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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