AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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