I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
