I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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