where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it hurts more in the daytime
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pants are for mortals
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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