stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
