I hate your face
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
