How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize