i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
false alarm. still invincible.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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