As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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