I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
