i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
