lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
