Your tits are I can't wait for
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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