Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
