remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
