I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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