how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
