CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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