throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think your dad took our porno
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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