we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
