Quick, to the slutcave!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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