I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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