It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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