Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
