I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
