I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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