I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The air taste purple.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
