I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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