i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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