I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
not ubering you a puppy
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
