Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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