So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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