You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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