Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
