Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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