I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
