If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize