HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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