I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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