well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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