if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Shame - the story of my life.
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