Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
