just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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