the condom got lost in my hair
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
