yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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