He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
