I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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