Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
