Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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